On Being a Father

I was born on Father's Day. When I was growing up, at first I didn't think much about it. Then I thought sharing that time of year with my father was neat. Later, when I actually started buying gifts, I thought about how I had to buy gifts just around the time of year I was getting them. But now that I'm older, Father's Day holds much more significance to me.

First, I think of how my father has treated me my entire life. Through bad times or good, he always loved me just because I'm his son. What more could you ask for - love without having to do anything in return, even if you screw up. Also, my father was always the provider for my entire family, always making sure we had whatever we needed. He's always been a God fearing Christian and made sure that my brother and I always went to Church when we were young. And he always held an interest in whatever we were doing.

Next, I think of how much my father has influenced me. Without his presence throughout my life, where would I be? What kind of person would I be? Often I find myself repeating some of the words and phrases that I heard him say throughout my childhood. I was always listening to him, even when he may have thought that I wasn't.

Finally, I think about the future. Here we are on the precipice of another Father's Day and another birthday for me, bringing me yet one year further into my adult life. And now I'm starting to think, "Why am I not a father? Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid of my own?" If and when I do become a father, I want to be the kind of man that my father was for me.

This past week, my 6-year-old niece has been staying with me. She's just about the sweetest thing on earth - full of energy and smiles. However, from time to time, I can barely keep up with her. It's hard for me to remember sometimes that she's just a kid when I'm begging and pleading with her to eat something. Kids are just picky. And they're afraid of the dark sometimes. And even a tiny scrape can be traumatic. As an uncle, I have the distinct pleasure of being able to visit with my niece, spoil her rotten and then just move along. But what if I were her father? Could I handle it? I love her to death, but honestly I'm just not sure.

I'm lucky to have the father that I do. If your father was present throughout your childhood, or even as an adult, then you're lucky too. Don't ever take that for granted. If you are a father, then congratulations. I just hope that you're a part of your child's everyday life.

Do I want to be a father? Yes. Am I ready to be a father? Honestly, no...no I'm not. But my theory is that no one really is. No matter how prepared you may think you are, things are just different once you actually hold your own child in your arms. There will always be the unexpected, your patience will always be tried and accidents will happen. But through it all, there is love - the love between a father and his child.