The clue x 4

Over the years I've done a lot of stupid things, but overall I really do try to not be that much of a douche bag. I didn't do the whole popped collar, pink shirt thing, never got into the emo junk and skipped out on the whole tricked out import car movement a la the Fast and the Furious. Hell, I've never even created a real myspace page. But, every once in a while, I do succumb to one of the latest fashion trends, or at least what I perceive to be a fashion trend.

Today I'm talking about that thin, scraggly beard look which was thrust into the pop culture limelight by the emergence of 'Lost'. That's right, the TV show where the plane crashes and people are marooned on an island where after weeks and even months of life without modern day amenities, the girls still look hot and the guys' facial hair never hits the Grizzly Adams stage or even the shorter, yet still very manly, Chuck Norris length. While some thought that this ragtag group of haphazard gentlemen could somehow take a page from Gilligan's book and MacGyver themselves some sort of crude razor to stay clean and tidy, others lauded the look as bold, edgy and hip and hence adopted it for themselves. After three seasons, I finally gave in. I stopped formally shaving, only picking up a trimmer once every few days to keep the short stubble look going. Then I went home.

This past Christmas, I went to stay with my parents for a week. We were all glad to see each other and many pleasantries were exchanged. For the first few days, absolutely nothing was said of my new facial hair, not that I minded. But then from nowhere as I was driving my parents around town, my mother looks up at a billboard and says, "Oh, there's Dr. Eisner! I see he shaved his beard. I think he looks so much better that way." I rolled my eyes. "I don't think a beard looks good on anyone."

::sigh::

"Subtle, mom," I said. She pretended like she didn't hear me and nothing more was said on the subject. The next day, I shaved. So the rule here is: No matter how cool you think you are, your mom knows you're not.